why

In such days , my eyes look pale and disappointed , my vertebral column arch , my voice sobs, my throat stats to give me warnings of tears arrival and my sleep pattern changes, the number of questions i give 'why' increases and everything seems so unclear , i can't find the right words to express , maybe one word can do me a favor , it's ~

WHY?

me and the window

Today , i was talking to God , as usual , when life gives me it's back

I turn to him to catch the hereafter , selfish me.

this's what my fist side says , but my other , the innocent one admits my habit of talking to him

regardless all this contradictions

I love talking to God , i love seeing his creation during my conversation with him

i see him within everything ; the sea , the sky , the clouds , the stars , people ..

i feel his nearness , despite the fact that sometimes my faith degree becomes low but i always feel Him

Yesterday , it was raining heavily , so i quickly ran to my balcony , to talk to Him , i talked , prayed and expressed everything

I gave justifications , told him of my lack of faith shamelessly

Suddenly , something caught my attention

A half-broken window that was about to fall over people

I quickly ran to my mother , told her of that

she told them and they fixed the problem by breaking it all and throwing it away

After that , i laid on my bed , thought of that thing

"Is it an omen? , Is God trying to send me a message?"

the two parts of my brain was having such a scary argument with each other

"Am i the window? , would i harm people?"

"or my faith is the window?"

"or I'm gonna save the world? "

_________________________________________________

 I missed my desktop background , so I was deleting the useless stuff , and I found this incomplete document

I thought of sharing it , it may inspire anyone and it may not

but I decided to share.