A lifetime friend.

My apologies won't be enough , but let's hope that you'll understand the fact that i'm 

living an unbalanced life ,

Although my life is empty and pale , I can't remember my beloved ones' birthday dates , i have no time to buy them gifts ,

but the thing is , i'm busy doing everything which makes my life unbalanced , i'm not going to justify myself because i got sad after you had forgotten my birthday date , but see now! , KARMA IS SALVA , I swear i had no hands in this 

But there's a last hope , birthday wishes can be sent throughout the day , 

throughout THE DAY

صديقَتى الصدُوقة ...

مكنتش عاوزة أكتبلك كلام عادي أو أمُنيات عادية أو حاجات معتادة زي أي شخص . بس ما أظنش إنى كان ممكن أتمنالك إنك تكونى فى مكان أحسن من اللى إنتى فيه دلوقت . أي نعم بقالى فترة مشوفتكيش بس كله يهون عشان الكعبة

النهار ده كملتى سبعاشر سنة . يعنى رسمياً مفروض يكون معاكى بطاقة تحقيق شخصية ودا شىء يخلينى ابدأ  مقولكيش يا يخة أو يِعا أو يخوخ عشان المنظر العام وبالتالى ذوقى المبالغ فيه ده

 مفروض يحثك على إنك على الأقل تبطلى تخترعى أسامى عجيبة ليا

I don't know what i should say in such an occasion , it's so important to me , I'm grateful to god to have you , such a sincere friend

17 years ago , your mother was fighting death , and she won 

thanks goes to Allah   

 you add a very special kind of positivity to my life , my all days-supporter

 my pure-hearted , kind , popular , fun friend

my ambitious (yet lazy) , joyful , childish (yet so mature) , crazy ( عايزة أمشى بحرية يا هبه )

nature-lover ( الشجر والسما عند شفيق ) friend

my lions-lover ( one day , my birthday gift will be a lion cub) , source of inspiration ( remember that day before you traveled when we stood on my balcony , we had a conversation full of inspiration ) 

my telescope-searcher friend  (dubbizle) , my (motazakerty 3end lafz ay kelma leha 3elaka bel telescopes wel space) friend 

I love how you can draw a smile on my face even when my soul is felling pain ,

I've just surfed the internet about friendship quotes , and every single word is applicable to our friendship

yes Aristotle , we're a single soul dwelling in two bodies

yes Ralph Waldo Emerson , we can afford to be stupid with each other

yes Elbert Hubbard , I know her and love her just the same

Yes Jim Morrison , she gives me total freedom to be myself

yes Marcel Proust , she's my charming gardener who makes my soul blossom

yes Charles Kingsley , she's a great hearted young lady

yes Khalil Gibran , I find my morning and refreshing by remembering our memories ( aywa ya khalil ,3araby akheran)

I swear none of those words are fake , I meant all of them , I mean everything i said and still saying and will say , you're my friend , companion , sidekick and backbone

and i wish you nothing but happiness and love and peace

May Allah bless all your days , dear friend

( i wish all these words made you happy or even smile)

The black spot

The black spot

It’s situated in my brain 

It masters me partially sometimes it’s the main

I feel it because it always gives me pain 

when i think I will love , it becomes more dark

I ask god to forgive and i’ll mark

but it always spreads all over my mind 

but I say “I’ll never mind”

One day it will disappear

but suddenly its intensity becomes million amperes 

I can’t manage it or even deal with

it sometimes gives me partial death

I ask my heart to help , but it always neglects

it pumps more blood and redirects

I ask my eye to forget and see more beauty

but It rather sees more iniquity

I ask my ear to stop hearing , but i can’t steer

it’s the truth , that you can’t love everything or even have passion for

i ask more and more

but i become in more stupor

because you’ll never love , but you’ll more despise

I ask for medical treatment

but I realise that I’m my own therapist 

I’m neither sheepish nor coward

but I can’t step forward

because it masters me partially , sometimes it’s the main

It’s the acute chain of hate

once , my brain defended and said , “I don’t ever hate”

but I presented an evidence about black spot existence

But it disobeyed to surrender and started cleaning mood 

and it became more odd

because the dark spot was fading away 

but brain stopped suddenly , when it signalized to eye and saw that other brains are in deep mess

We suddenly forgot honesty

I , Heba , would like to say something to everyone , I don't like advices , but it's not an advice , it's a reminder to everyone who forget about the basis of every relationship , which's 'honesty' , yeah , it's as important as respect , i don't know why somebody would live a lifetime convincing himself that he loves somebody who he actually -from the bottom of his heart- doesn't love , I personally faced a situation like that , faced it's details , it's micro details , I have a friend who is loved by almost everyone , she's kind , doesn't do anything to anyone which would hurt him and this is beautiful , but suddenly a classmate considered her a friend , best friend , she's sensitive , she didn't tell her that she's nothing to her , but she should've said , why lying? , in order to not hurt that classmate? , huh! , hurting her is telling her 'i love you , my friend' when she doesn't , hurting her is listening to her problems hatefully and grudgingly , hurting her is in her joy telling her mother about how blessed she is to have you in her life , hurting her is thinking about you and how to make you happy by a gift or whatever and she coincidentally cross your mind when you watch a pathetic scene in a film , hurting her is stopping your conscience from shouting at her and telling her that she's not your best friend , hurting her is thanking god when she leaves , hurting her is ignoring her when she needs you ,blablabla but telling the truth will hurt her one time , it'll take along time to forget but she'll be fine without you and your sympathy , she'll be fine with someone who loves her truly , just let her go , do it and hurt her one time instead of hurting her many many times , don't make your evil side beat your good one , by proving to yourself that you're needed , let your good side win , let karma do good for you

Worldly heaven

When i feel hate filling my heart , when i taste fear and when i become an aimless person , i go to my balcony automatically , i talk to myself , sometimes i record , so that i can analyze myself and recognize my words and how i say them , in a low voice or in a high pitch , quietly or angrily , it seems like a strange deed , but it comforts me somehow , i specifically look above , look at the pure clouds being hugged by the beautiful sky , and the sky darkening itself so that she can show us the stars' beauty , and the moon , the most beautiful guest that comes every night , sometimes moon doesn't come, but maybe he had a fight with sun the previous day , and sun refused to give him her light , maybe sun is jealous , because moon has a lot of fans , more than the sun , let's not interfere in their private fights , and rain , our decent gift from the most beneficial , that comes in hard times , the times when everything is going to die , to be pale and yellow , our souls and plants need rain , so he comes , not everyday , but we're grateful that he comes in this hideous world , we must also thank clouds , let's not forget about thunder and lightening , people see that they're terrifying , but no they're not , and even if they're , are there any terrifying things in this world that give us gift? , are there? , absolutely not ,they give us rain. and birds , god's beautiful creatures , flying without holding anything, freely , living to die and dying to live , and stars , we don't feel empathy for them , but we should , although they're died , they are sending us light, physics and stuff , light takes years to reach earth , so when it reaches , after million years maybe , the star might be died , and we still look at them joyfully and they're died , oh my god , we're so evil , but it makes me happy , the thought of giving even after death ,beautiful thought in an ugly world , i didn't hear about anyone who still gives after his death , except Alfred Nobel but after his big mistake that will not be forgiven , but stars don't make mistakes , they are beautiful , and sky , the beautiful flying house , that is open for everyone who is homeless , she's not loud , her beauty in her silence , what i love the most about sky , that she holds beauty for her spectators , even if those spectators aren't beautiful , she gives but doesn't wait to gain. Everything above is in harmony, a beautiful one wish we can learn something from them , wish we can..